lizrael update - May 20th, 2004

Spent my evening/early morning in 'the city' as in Sex and the City, cosmopolitans, Sean Puffy Combs coming out of limosines on Broadway, yeah, you know the one. I rarely am there anymore...

Not that I was ever so hot-and-heavy into the city. In England, people used to ask, 'do you live like they do on Friends?' ha. um, no. New York City will always be a home to me, but a very very busy home that was always multi tasking and never had enough time for me. a little neglectful, leaving me to figure out things on my own. but that's ok.

New York City - New York - the U.S. - have been like babysitters for me until now. they raised me. fed me. nurtured me with... well, NYC/American values. However wholesome those can be.

Now that I'm all graduated and adult and fending for myself, I feel more and more how much I don't really fit here. Maybe because I outgrew it, maybe because I missed the train somewhere, maybe because I never really fit in the first place.

Traveling last year was great for realizing that. New Yorkers have a stereotype: they're self involved, they don't understand how anyone could live outside of New York. well... it was true for me. but I saw things and I'm into feeling out new places. still not Binghamton-style... no offense...

When I leave the city now, after a night of partying or visiting or whatever, I get thinking about the last time I'll be there as an American citizen. as solely New Yorker. When will it be? How will it feel to leave? I suppose Tel Aviv just wont be the same, as hard as it does try... but i feel a bond with this place, we've been through so much through two decades. and especially the last 4 years... i'll never forget bawling in front of a 17-inch tv in my room tucked safe away in upstate NY. crying for 'the city', my city, my neighbors, my buildings, my diverse-crazy-busy-dirty-beautiful city.  

maybe Tel Aviv will be my city now. maybe Jerusalem or Herzliya or somewhere further north will be my city. i'll always have a city i can call mine. there will always be a place for New York City in my heart.

my surrogate home.  

i pledge
allegiance
to the
flag
of the
United
States
of America.
And to the Republic,
for which it stands,
one Nation,
under God,
indivisible,
with
liberty
and
justice
for
all.